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DECEMBER 10, 2018

BEAUTIFUL VACATION ON THE OCEAN SHORE

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DECEMBER 10, 2018

10 PLACES FOR YOUR RELAXING STAY

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DECEMBER 10, 2018

HOW TO DECORATE A ROOM IN BEIGE COLORS

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10 Places for Your Relaxing Stay

December 10, 2018December 10, 2018

10 Places for Your Relaxing Stay

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How to Decorate a Room in Beige Colors

December 10, 2018December 10, 2018

How to Decorate a Room in Beige Colors

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“The path to peace is not to pursue certainty, b

“The path to peace is not to pursue certainty,
but to relax into uncertainty. Accept things how they are instead of how you think they should be.”

#stoicism #stoicmindset #emotionalstrength #mindsetshift #dichotomyofcontrol

Moms, dads, parents, experts… anyone with experi

Moms, dads, parents, experts… anyone with experience here? My sweet son was genuinely shocked that Santa said he’s good. Even Stoicism hasn’t prepared me to communicate otherwise to him. I don’t want to force him to think anything’s specific, just to realize that “good” isn’t a single bar that everyone has to reach.

He’s not even upset about it. Just matter of fact. I told him all the good things I’ve noticed this year and that I KNEW he’d be on the nice list, but he still seems unconvinced

#momlife #boymom #parents #stoiclife #parentingadvice

This isn’t just performed gratitude. It teaches

This isn’t just performed gratitude. It teaches kids how to feel thankful for whatever someone gifts them.

It’s the Stoic practice, premeditation of unpreferred events. For moms and other adults, it’s usually a simple mental rehearsal. For kids, full-fledged practice is the key.

#stoicism #stoicmindset #parentsoftiktok #momlife #parentingtips

Your future self would give anything for THIS mome

Your future self would give anything for THIS moment… no matter what this moment is.

Don’t give your now away to the past or to the fear of loss in the future. Keep it now.

#momlife #momquotes #parentingtips #stoicmindset #reframe

When anxiety keeps in, I remind myself that I can’t control the future. I tell myself, “Ariel, this moment is what you have. You can’t control the future so there’s no use being distracted by it. Be the best mom, team member, human you can be. That’s your job.”

Stoics know we can only be happy when we stop the future-focused anxiety loops.

“Why is he a pickier eater
than other kids?”

“I’ll never catch up on this laundry.”

“I WILL make sure he grows
up with more confidence than I did.”

Let all those things go. Do a load of laundry if that’s what you need to do… or decide it’s not as important as something else, and feel good about that choice.

#momlife #workingmom #anxietyrelief #stoicism #philosophytok

“A wise person becomes invulnerable. For they ca

“A wise person becomes invulnerable. For they care not for what they cannot control.” - Seneca

Reason is the anti-venom to anger and anxiety. In the example I shared, the logical response ends up being quite the opposite of the response you’re initially compelled toward. And who could blame you?

But options that give you the best outcome don’t involve yelling or stressing. They might be to laugh, knowing the entire family will get a kick out of the story, while also explaining to your child that they will only have access to crayons until they can show they can remember to keep them on the table at all times. And, instead of screen time tonight, they’ll be helping you clean the chair. Then, greet your guests with a laugh. This lets you make the most of the moment and helps your child learn personal responsibility.

Feels better than anger and accomplishes so much more. It’s a win, win. And that’s a lot in parenting.

#parentingtips #angermanagement #stoicism #mindsetshift #momlife

When you stop thinking about what THEY do and star

When you stop thinking about what THEY do and start thinking about what YOU’re going to do, parenting gets easier.

So, instead of thinking, “They need to learn how to stop yelling and handle disappointment,” or, “they need to clean their rooms now, before my friends come over,” try considering your role and your next right move.

You could think something like, “They’re not cleaning even though I asked... so asking didn’t work. I could yell, ask them again, give them a consequence, help them do it, do it for them, leave it messy, or walk away. I felt a surge of anxiety and annoyance when I saw they hadn’t cleaned, but I’m not going to compromise my character by yelling... and it’s my responsibility to help them build their characters. So, the most helpful thing would be to figure out if they need help and establish my boundary around taking care of our home (then follow through).”

The best part is, once I’ve thought, said, and done the things I decided on, I’ve succeeded. They can and WILL do what they decide. But that’s not your concern. Only what you decide.

#momadvice #parenttips #stoicism #mindsetshifts #aurelius

Anger consumed a lot of my life. Then I learned

Anger consumed a lot of my life.

Then I learned the Stoic take on anger: you can let it go. And you should let it go. There’s no practical upside to staying mad. If you’re stuck in anger, you’re usually in one of two situations:

1️⃣ You’re angry at an “enemy.” Staying angry doesn’t impact them. It only drains your time and attention and crowds out moments that could be lighter and more meaningful.

2️⃣ You’re angry at someone you love. What does the anger really accomplish? Diminished affection? Anger on both sides? Most of us don’t want to operate that way. The tension affects them, but it tends to affect us even more.

No matter how justified you are, your interpretation of the situation is what keeps you locked in the same loop. When an angry thought shows up now, I reframe it:

1️⃣ “Enemy” territory: They’re not a priority, and I’m not a priority to them. I’m not giving someone outside my life any power over my character or my peace. The real win is building a great life anyway.

2️⃣ Someone I love: If I want the relationship to continue, the anger has to go. Neither of us can change the past, and Stoicism teaches that people act based on what they believe is right in the moment, even when they’re wrong. They’re human, and so am I. What I can do is understand my boundaries, set them clearly, and enforce them firmly. Then I try to show up as the thoughtful, kind version of myself that exists underneath the frustration. I remind the anger to blow away on the wind, like sand in my hair at the beach. It doesn’t all blow away at once, but if I keep shaking my head, running my hands through it, take a shower, my hair is clean again.

But this is important: If what happened was truly too serious to move past, I take time to decide... carefully and with empathy... how I can move on from the relationship and regain my character along the way.

#stoicism #mindsetshift #relationshipadvice #boundaries #stoicmom

Outside things, events, and people don’t need to

Outside things, events, and people don’t need to control your mood.

In fact, Stoics realize that any given person has complete control over how they perceive things... and your mood is CREATED by those perceptions. Flip the perceptions and you flip your mood. That doesn’t mean accepting things the way they are if you think they’re unfair or that you have the power to make them better. It means taking actions to make those changes and then moving your mind to a more productive state (like enjoying the taste of your coffee or laughing at your kids’ horrible but super-cute joke).

That’s right, moms. Even your kid splattering acrylic paint on your upholstered couch can’t MAKE you feel anything. Not even a cheating spouse or being fired from a job. It’s all in perception.

“When a difficult situation arises, remember that you are like a boxer in the ring. The boxer does not curse their opponent, nor blame them for hitting hard. The boxer trains to meet the blows.” - Epictetus

P.S. This is not to say that anyone can control atypical brain chemistry or other similar challenges. Stoics know we have control of our minds, but not our biology. Brain chemistry falls into the biology category. But it still never hurts to work on reframing.

#stoicism #moody #parentingadvice #parentingtips #momlife

People can think whatever they want! Telling lies

People can think whatever they want! Telling lies just makes them worse, not you. And if they told the truth, they’re unknowingly being a helpful advisor. Insults are either completely irrelevant to you, or helping you become a better version of yourself.

And if all else fails, remember what the great #epictetus said, “If you are told that someone has spoken ill of you, do not make excuses. Answer: ‘They did not know the rest of my faults, or they would not have mentioned only these.’”

#momlife #parenting #judgypeople #stoicismexplained

I think half of manifesting works. It places your

I think half of manifesting works. It places your focus on an outcome that’s important to you. BUT, it also assumes that the cosmos (or whatever you believe in) and other people will rearrange themselves because you believed hard enough. And it puts you at the mercy of all these things outside your control.

Focus on your thoughts, perceptions and actions. That’s where peace, happiness, and growth come in. 🥰

#manifesting #stoicism #stoicadvice #innerpeace #perception

The secret to parenting happiness: “Do not seek

The secret to parenting happiness: “Do not seek for things to happen as you wish; but wish for them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go on smoothly.” - #epictetus

What we have now is #parenthood. What we’ll have later is time to ourselves. If you wish for more time to yourself now, then you’ll just be wishing to be with your children when they’re out of the home. Flip it. Make the best of it all.

#happiness #stoicism #momlife

Gentle parenting usually centers a child’s emoti

Gentle parenting usually centers a child’s emotion, or implies that it’s not something that should be changed.

Teaching kids how to have power over their emotions (in addition to their actions) is one of the most tranformative things you can do.

How? Rationality, knowing what you do and don’t have power over, and building the self control “muscle” have a lot to do with it.

#Stoicism teaches it all. #gentleparenting #authoritativeparenting #momtips #dichotomyofcontrol

1. Spend time thinking about the boundaries/needs

1. Spend time thinking about the boundaries/needs that are important to you.

2. Spend time thinking of how you can set each boundary in a way that only requires your own choices and actions. The other person can and will do what they want. (I had to GPT ideas for some needs that I had trouble thinking of a me-only boundary for)

3. Communicate your boundaries and what you will do if they’re crossed to the other person. You don’t need to explain yourself. Just be kind and firm… don’t fall into any guilt or blame spirals. You are allowed to have boundaries. No explanation needed.

4. When boundaries are crossed, do the thing you said you would.

5. Repeat

#relationshipproblems #relationshiptips #momlife #stoicismquotes #relationshipboundaries

I’ve always been a people pleaser. And over 12+ years of marriage, it created a huge imbalance. I felt like I wasn’t heard or taken into account.

Then, Stoicism taught me that I wasn’t being honest about my opinions or setting any boundaries. Once I started, there were a few growing pains but it didn’t take long for me to have my voice back and my needs met.

I was assuming I had to bend to everything I assumed my husband wanted for him to be happy. The truth is, he seems much happier now that I don’t.

Hope is fear. Fear steals happiness and creates st

Hope is fear. Fear steals happiness and creates stress.

Stoicism teaches that, no matter how dire or “positive” the hope might be, it’s useless.

The only things a person has are their current moment and their rationality. Rationally, hoping for someone is just magical thinking about the future. By nature, hope is something outside of your control because it’s about the future.

If there’s something you can do to make the “hope” happen, do it. Then let it go and enjoy the moment.

#stoicism #momlife #parentingtips #mindfulparenting #emotionaljourney

Authoritative parenting boils down to self-regulat

Authoritative parenting boils down to self-regulation; managing your own emotional response before you guide your child’s.
If you’ve ever had a toddler throw spaghetti at your face, you know how tall an order that is.

Stoicism offers a mental structure that makes it possible.
Three steps, simple in theory, hard in practice:

Release the initial rush of frustration and disappointment.

Decide what response is most useful.

Deliver that response with warmth and steadiness, even if your kid did something you think is terrible.

#momlife #momadvice #stoicism #stopyelling #parenting

Yes. Epictetus literally wrote about maintaining i

Yes. Epictetus literally wrote about maintaining inner peace while taking a bath. This Stoic view applies just as much today.

Parenting can knock down your cognitive defenses, letting little things get under your skin. The remedy? Tell yourself those things will happen and remind yourself that they can’t take your inner peace if you don’t let them.

#stoicism #parentingtips #mindfulparenting #emotionalhealing #momadvice

Stoicism teaches that the things that happen aroun

Stoicism teaches that the things that happen around us are out of our control. So, they say, the rational thing is to make the best of it. Can’t change it anyway!

Ie: you’re a mom and it’s your kid’s birthday party. You cleaned and prepped and everything looks perfect. You go to the freezer to get that expensive ice cream cake they wanted and see that your fridge broke. The cake is melted all over the peas and waffles and the rest of your food is bad too. It would be easy to be heartbroken or angry.

But since it happened and you can’t change it, you might as well focus that energy on a solution instead of ruminating. It could become your kids favorite party story because you made a cake out of bananas and graham crackers, and laughed at the spilled ice cream.

#stoicism #momsoftiktok #parentingtips #wisekids #mindfulparenting

Moms, You can’t control your child’s future (t

Moms, You can’t control your child’s future (their success, their feelings, or how the world sees them). But you can control your own actions and influence. You can model good character. You can guide them to become resilient. Not in outcomes, but in character.

I used to stress so much over wanting them to become happy, productive adults. But I really can’t control that. What I can control is giving them every chance to develop the kind of character it takes to handle everything else. I keep reminding my thoughts… and it’s helped so much.

#stoicismforwomen #mindset #momadvice #momtips #stoicism

#singersoftiktok you already know that the healthi

#singersoftiktok you already know that the healthiest way to sing also creates the best sound. The same is true for being a human. The most helpful way to live also makes you the happiest.

Really want to level up?
#stoicmindset + #singerlife = #bestlife

“All that works to make you a good person lies within yourself.” — Seneca

Check out my channel to learn HOW.

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